Checking In

Originally published Sept 22, 2020. Though there are no plans to update this post, you’ll surely see both needed somber updates and the many splashes of light we have all hopefully found as we collectively move forward.

In early March, production schedules cleared for the year, and the first few months of pandemic lockdowns and shutdowns led to confusion, stress, and emotional challenges.

As a photographer whose majority of work focuses on large events, this was an exceptionally tough break.

The texts, calls, and emails from colleagues and friends range from justifiable alarm, fear, visceral rage, and gallows humor. Friends and colleagues are grieving, and at which stage is as varying as our roles in the industry we love.

Below is the culmination of reflections made in the last seven months as we all watched economies crater and the lives of 200,000 Americans vanish before our eyes.

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A wild poppy searching for light. My backyard, Denver.

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One of hundreds of screenshots of headlines, tweets, ideas and bad news captured throughout lockdowns. These headlines are hardly when world’s began unraveling but it’s when many folks started to notice.

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A randomly drawn card was handed to me during a convention breakout session on March 11, jarring me to stand up, leave the room, and head home to prepare for my worse nightmare. Haunting then, haunting now. Talk about seeing signs in the tea leaves.

My socks are Grateful Dead bears, if you are wondering. ✌️💀

In murk of early morning, the words "I hope you are well" are being typed before even thinking.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

"Hey, just checking in."

The depth of these casual correspondences range from plunging deep quick, or just a stupid meme. One thing was apparent; the common bond throughout 2020 was quickly determining the value of what was most important.

First, there is the worry of our health and our families' well-being; all of that baggage boils over into the secondary, but no less critical, their businesses and careers built from scratch. At no other point in my career has the pursuit of art felt more entrepreneurial. With a long haul ahead, we must remain optimistic.

We didn't go into business to become pessimistic but to strengthen our creativity and joy through the unique freedoms entrepreneurship provides.

Hubris and magical thinking will only get us so far; expect paths with obstacles. The fight to regain the losses experienced during the creative economy's shutdown will not be easy; we all understand that in our bones.

All of this might sound like a high school football-style locker room pep talk at this point, but we need to celebrate wins, set goals, and expect success.

We are here, still have work to do, and something to say.

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Panic at the Whole Foods. Does nobody like oatmeal raisin cookies?

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I’m better sober and highly hydrated, can’t remember if I drank all these in one day or not.

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If anything is holy, it’s morning light.

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Whipped by western winds, an American flag droops in tatters in the Whittier neighborhood of Denver, Colorado.

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Politics are a rich tradition in the West. We are proud, patriotic Americans no matter what one man or many might tell you on TV.

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Evening light is romantic, but it’s reward of darkness draws me to mornings.

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Discarded bible verses of comfort, assurance and salvation.

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Murals tell the story, marking territory which has no room for hate.

The morning routine starts early with coffee and to watch the first, slow light filter into a day.

Staying busy with current clients while editing personal projects has been a lifeline between the new normal of socially distancing new ones. Life goes on; working with clients thriving through the paradoxical pandemic workload crunch is the non sequitur of our nightmares. In other words, watching from the sidelines as the economic standstill effects so many during a flurry of commerce for others is, at best confusing. Economists and political scientists have their work cut out for them as 2020 creates new volumes of study each day.

Wild-eyed and staring into the phone is how things can end up, but trying to read (offline) and listen to as much music as possible has been enlightening. Scribbling through legal pads, stacks of post-it notes, trying to reorganize business plans, and clarify muddy thoughts have been educational and, on some days, makes it all even dirtier.

Turning ideas into action, and scratching the surface for the next few months, one, five, and ten years as the "before times" business sits gutted is a convo that many of you might have had with yourselves by this point.

If you haven't, please take a closer read to the work of poet Henry Rollins and his unique utilitarian take on strategy and tactics.

““In winter, I plot and plan. In spring, I move.” — Henry Rollins”

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Early on, the sight of children with masks not only scared me; it filled me with a rage I didn't know I had in me. Thankfully, during lockdowns, sidewalks became spaces for kids and their parents to share with the neighborhood small reflections of humanity. Thanks, kid.

OK, time for the call for to action part. First, vote, become an active member of your community while performing your most basic yet cherished patriotic and civic duty.

Secondly, check-in. September is suicide prevention month. It’s hard to understand why it’s not every minute of every day; then I remember it is for families of loved ones going through a crisis. We can’t hard work ourselves out of depression but getting help and educating friends and family is a start.

Today's environment is the realist, most authentic shit hitting the fan moment in generations. For millions of Americans, the deadly pandemic, historic political unrest, the injustice of systemic racism, evictions and homelessness, record unemployment, and the changing climate will not affect them directly for many months to years later.

For many, the emotional and economic struggle is too much to bear now. Please do not go it alone—one of the first steps in reducing and removing the stigma associated with your mental health is talking about it and seeking the help you deserve. The mental and physical toll will ripple through the rest of our lives and careers, and be better mindful of it now.

Talk with your friends, family, and loved ones. Be as well as possible; seek help if you need it.

I would love to hear what you might have thoughts on, and what you have created.

Please share your ideas with me; texts, email, DMs via Twitter, or IG are great!